HELLO

The Girls Inside Me



I had been through multiple phases over the course of my life thus far, all of which came into my life with a purpose. To name a few: goth, hippie, the wild child, metalhead, melodramatic, animal enthusiast, bewitched, the 24 hour vegan, grunge, rebel —and yes, I am only 14. There was a time when I was obsessed with Enid Blyton and a stage when I refused to pick up any of what I found as her 'kiddy books which fit none of my mature criteria of a grown up girl'. Also, there was a phase of my life when J.K. Rowling had been my best friend and another chapter when I thought magic was overrated. 

With all these phases intruding hello and bidding farewell from time to time, admittedly I had felt that these disparate interests and personalities made me feel like a fraud, as if I had no personal essence. I felt lost and this drove me crazy. All the changes and movements my soul and thoughts were making only proved to get the best of me. It had left me in a disoriented state, a state of personal fracture. I still remember this feeling, a wave of nostalgia never fails to wash over me when these memories sneak in through the back door of my mind.

But after a while, I had come to respect the many different parts and personalities of myself. I had learnt to acknowledge how more complete my life has become because I had drawn inspiration and personal experience from these varied sources, from these girls. Who knew just how many wholes of a female could fit inside my frame.

There have been girls in my life who introduced me to key things I loved and elements of myself I wasn’t aware of before. These girls prepped me and granted me the permission to be someone I wanted or needed to be at times. Some of these girls I only hung out with briefly, and some I barely got to know at all, but I wouldn’t be who I am now without them. Some showed me the best features of myself I couldn't see before, and some brought out the worst. Some inspired me to be exactly like them, while others motivated me to be anything but. Throughout it all, the good and the bad, these girls brought something each to the spinning wheel that would have had determined my character. These girls were the factors of who I became. Maybe girls like them live in your heart too.





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